Charlie’s story

My sister Charlie was always the life and soul of the party, and mum to four amazing kids – Caleigh (19), Shay (15), and twins Lola and Tilly (14). When Charlie was diagnosed with terminal cancer in November of 2023, we were devastated. She was only 46 years old and had so much to live for. But she always said to us that cancer had taken enough and we should make the most of the precious time we had left together. So that’s what we did – we made some fantastic memories with Charlie which still make us smile when we’re missing her. And Martlets helped make those moments happen.

Despite her declining health, Charlie packed so much fun into those last months. She was also known as ‘Char’, ‘Charl’ and ‘Auntie La La’, and was always the life and soul of the party. In fact, she threw herself a party while she was still well enough. We found out about her terminal diagnosis in November 2023 and in the January of 2024 she had a party which she called ‘La La’s last hurrah’.

During that time, the incredible team at Martlets cared for Charlie at home and then on their inpatient ward for several months, where she died peacefully in December of 2024. We miss her hugely but knowing she was so well looked after has been a comfort for us. Martlets understood Charlie as a person as well as a patient and took the time to find out what was important to her and to us as a family.

 

A family holiday to Butlins

To begin with, Martlets supported Charlie at home. The community nursing team visited her and made sure she was on the right medication to manage her symptoms and her pain. It was this care and support that enabled Charlie to do the important things that mattered to her over that last year. It meant we were able to go to Butlins for a family holiday which was wonderful. Charlie was feeling quite poorly before she went, but a nurse visited from Martlets and adjusted her meds to make sure she was as comfortable as she could be before the holiday. I’ve got videos of me and Charlie doing the silent disco which are so funny, and the kids loved the entertainment and sharing that fun experience with their mum. They still look back on Butlins with happy memories. We couldn’t stay the full week as Charlie wasn’t well enough and got really tired, but we had three brilliant days there and Martlets helped make that possible for us.

Like a lot of people, Charlie had a list of special things she wanted to do in life and places she wanted to go. She particularly wanted to go on an African Safari, but with her health declining she knew she wouldn’t be able to. Incredibly, one of the nurses at Martlets owns a virtual reality (VR) headset which she brings in sometimes for patients to use. It means that patients can still get to experience some amazing trips they might have missed out on. Charlie loved that – she said it was just like being there in 3D. She just couldn’t believe how realistic it was getting up close to the elephants and rhinos. She also got to go on a ‘virtual’ underwater dive with all these amazing sea creatures swimming around her. She never thought she’d have an opportunity like that and she treasured the memories of those experiences for the rest of her life.

The team at Martlets also helped Charlie and the family celebrate some special occasions and to spend time together doing things we all loved. For Cayleigh’s 19th birthday, the nurses helped Charlie decorate her patient room and they got some bubbly for them both and a cake. Cayleigh came in and had a sleep-over at Martlets in Charlie’s room on the sofa bed. They had a pampering evening with face masks and lots of lovely bits, and watched movies. It was a very special birthday celebration that Cayleigh will never forget.

Sunflowers, cuddle beds and a ‘disco bathroom’

Charlie’s favourite colour was yellow. She loved sunflowers and now everywhere I go I see sunflowers and they remind me of her. She put up a banner with sunflowers on all around her room at Martlets and she had a lovely maxi dress printed with sunflowers that she wore for her birthday in May 2024.

When Charlie first came into Martlets inpatient ward she was in a standard hospital bed, and the girls wanted to get in and snuggle up. The nurses swapped it for this amazing ‘cuddle bed’ which is a bigger hospital bed that you can cuddle up in with the family when they visit. That made a huge difference especially when Charlie got more poorly and our mum would visit and she’d cuddle up with Charlie on the bed. Charlie had lots of wires and drips and things as she got more sick and the bigger bed meant there was more space to accommodate that and us. We’re so glad we have memories of being able to snuggle up with her and get close as you can’t always do that in a medical setting.

As well as gathering in Charlie’s room, we spent a lot of time in the family room at Martlets. It’s a great space to make a hot drink and heat up some food and there are toys and games for kids and facilities to make art. Me and Charlie and the kids got together to paint canvasses and ornaments – Charlie put her fingerprints on them with paint which is a lovely thing for the kids to keep to remember her. Charlie liked doing colouring and beading and Martlets made sure she was able to do what she loved with the kids.

We were all amazed by the big, accessible bathroom with the spa-jet bath. Cayleigh called it the ‘disco bathroom’. You can choose your lighting colour and effects and play your own music in there – either upbeat or relaxed. That was a really cool thing to have. Charlie loved it and so did the kids. It meant she could relax in a bubble bath and me and the girls could help her bathe. It was a lovely intimate space that we could personalise with our own music. Charlie loved Motown so she’d listen to that, but also Oasis – my brother was going to get tickets for her to go and see them with him though sadly she wasn’t well enough at that point. But singing along in the spa bathroom made her day, and singing those songs she loved brings back happy memories for us. It was little things like that made such a big difference – being able to personalise Charlie’s care. Charlie would always dance around the kitchen at home. That was her all over – she was so lively and fun. If she could move, she was happy. There was always music blaring when she was washing up or cleaning at home. Even when she got ill, I remember her dancing using a Zimmer frame with Shay.

Family fajitas and a wedding dress to remember

One of Charlie’s favourite things when she was at Martlets was the Mexican-themed meal the café team put on. Fajitas are the kids’ favourite and it was her son Shay’s birthday so Martlets made sure they all had Mexican hats and decorated the café especially. The food was great and they had the café to themselves that evening. We have some lovely colourful photos to remember it by.

Something that Charlie used to get upset about was that she’d never see the children get married. Whilst Charlie was staying at Martlets, they went above and beyond to make something truly wonderful happen. The doctors stabilised Charlie’s symptoms so that she was well enough to go out with her eldest daughter Cayleigh to a wedding dress shop. Cayleigh tried on all these beautiful wedding dresses. It was so special for Charlie and a lovely memory for Cayleigh that she’ll take forward to her wedding day in the future.

In November of last year, Charlie’s health deteriorated further. She absolutely loved Christmas and Martlets helped us to celebrate early with Charlie in her room in early November. One of the nurses brought in a big cardboard cut-out of a Christmas elf – Charlie loved that. We brought in food and a Christmas tree and it was the best final few weeks Charlie could’ve had.

Caring with dignity

We can't thank Martlets enough – not only the doctors and nurses but everybody from the receptionist to the cleaners and the café staff. They're all just amazing and would do absolutely anything they possibly could to help us all as a family. We always felt welcome and included in Charlie’s care.

Charlie died peacefully at Martlets on 28 November 2024. She was just 47 years old and we miss her so much. I’ll never forget the incredible nurse looking after her the day she passed. Charlie was so poorly and the nurse treated her with such dignity. She'd say to Charlie ‘I know you don’t like your mouth to be dry Charlie so I’ll just get you a little sponge with some water on.’ She took care of every little detail right up to the end and afterwards.

Charlie’s dad wanted a lock of her hair as a memento, so I asked the nurse if she’d do it. Even after Charlie had died, she talked to her with such dignity and respect as if Charlie could still hear. She said: “We’re just going to take a bit of your hair now for your dad, Charlie.”

It helps us as a family to know that Charlie had the best passing she could have had. She wasn’t in any pain; she was comfortable. She was surrounded by her family and we were playing her favourite songs. It happened quickly as if she was just going to sleep. Afterwards, the staff would call up to see how we were doing; they would always know what to say, and the girls had counselling at Martlets which was a huge support. Charlie did an amazing job and prepared not only herself, but the whole family for when she passed. She had incredible strength and her kids saw that. It’s important they remember her that way as a strong person. She wanted to be as independent as possible right up to the end and Martlets made that possible.

The night before she passed, Charlie asked if I’d take her home one more time so she could see the Christmas decorations Cayleigh had put up there. We were told that often people go off their food when they’re about to pass but Charl ordered fish and chips that night which we tucked into it back at Martlets. She made the most of life right up to her last day and that last fish’n’chip supper. We all miss her hugely but Charlie will always be alive in the memories we have of her, which we’ll continue to share. Martlets helped us make those memories and we hope they can keep on doing the same for other families like ours.

We can't thank Martlets enough – not only the doctors and nurses but everybody from the receptionist to housekeeping and catering teams. They're all amazing and would do absolutely anything they possibly could to help us as a family. We want other families to be able to experience that same level of care, but helping others make their own memories as they face the toughest of times costs money – so please, if you can, donate today.

Thank you.

Amy

Published 12/06/2025