Summary
Nathan’s wife Bekki was cared for at home by our community nursing team, and on our inpatient unit during her last weeks. The couple got married in our Sanctuary a week before Bekki died at the age of 34. Here, Nathan shares their story and talks about the support Martlets provided.
Bekki and I met through friends of ours when we were about 14 and still at school. We started going out together and we were pretty much inseparable from then on. We knew we were meant for each other, and we decided to have our children when we were quite young. Bekki had our son Cameron when she was 19, and our daughter Katelyn arrived two years later. They’re now 15 and 13 years old.
No-one expected Bekki to have breast cancer at such a young age
Bekki had breast reduction surgery when she was 30 years old. That was when the doctors noticed a lump. She continued to have breast pain and wasn’t feeling well, but it was a long and difficult journey to diagnosis. It wasn’t until February of 2025 that we were given the devastating news: Bekki had stage four breast cancer, and it was terminal. After all those years of uncertainty, it was such a shock. That’s when we were referred to Martlets.
Without Martlets we just wouldn’t have coped
From day one Martlets have been brilliant. Some of the stuff that they’ve done for us is unbelievable and without them I don’t know how we would’ve coped. Bekki was in a lot of pain and right away we had community nurses coming out from Martlets to give her pain relief. They did everything they could to try and get things on track and to get the pain under control, so she was stable. It was such a relief to have this specialist care because Bekki had spent weeks in pain before Martlets got involved. The clinical team at Martlets really pushed to make sure Bekki was on the best treatment and the treatment that was right for her. They gave her individualised care which is what she needed.
A ‘cuddle bed’ made all the difference
One of the main things that made a difference during Bekki’s stay at Martlets was giving us a ‘cuddle bed’. The staff saw me clinging on to the side of Bekki’s bed the first night we were in there, trying to give her a cuddle. The next day, we came in and the nurses had swapped her bed for a ‘cuddle bed’ which was much bigger. It meant me and the kids could climb in with her if we wanted to. We really appreciated them doing that. It’s just one of the many things, small and large, they did for us while Bekki was there.
In April, Bekki came into Martlets’ inpatient ward for a couple of weeks so they could monitor her more closely and manage her symptoms more effectively. That meant she was stable enough to come home again and spend more time with us as a family. But then, in early November 2025, Bekki was admitted again to the ward, and we were told she was moving towards the end of life.
L-R: Cameron, Nathan, Bekki, Katelyn. After the wedding.
I proposed to Bekki on Hove seafront
Since we were kids, Bekki and I had always talked about getting married. My mum and dad were married but fought a lot and that made me nervous about marriage. Me and Bekki had things really good, and I didn’t want to ruin what we had, but now I knew that’s what I wanted. It felt really important for all of us – for me and Bekki and for the kids too. I wanted to propose on Bekki’s birthday which was coming up, but we didn’t know how much time she had left. Instead, I made a plan to take Bekki down (in a wheelchair) to a bench near our favourite ice-cream place on Hove beach, and the kids would come too. Bekki and I loved it there – it was our place to go where we’d sit and talk for hours about everything.
First though, I needed to get Bekki’s ring size so I could buy an engagement ring. While she was sleeping in her hospice bed, I managed to wind a phone charger cord around her ring finger and mark it with a pen. My daughter Kaitlyn came shopping with me to choose the ring and she was like, “Dad, you cannot pull that out in the shop, it’s so embarrassing!”. But we managed to get the right ring size and nice ring.
So, the kids were in on the secret and we all drove down the seafront, but the proposal didn’t quite go to plan. It was so windy – Katelyn almost flew away with the umbrella! We managed to get down to our bench and Katelyn said she wanted an ice cream. For some reason my ice-cream was huge – way bigger than everyone else’s – and I thought how am I going to propose with this in my hand?! It started to pour with rain, so I ended up proposing in the car, but it was ok because we were all together and that’s what mattered. After I’d done my speech, Bekki said “yes” – she was over the moon and we were all laughing. It was such a good feeling to see her so happy.
We got married in the Sanctuary at Martlets
After my proposal, we had two days to prepare. Martlets were brilliant at helping us to understand what was needed to get married in these circumstances. They helped me get the necessary consent from a doctor and the registry office and so on. We were able to have the ceremony in Martlets’ Sanctuary, which is a lovely calming space. Bekki’s friend is really creative and decorated the room, so it looked great. We had our reception in the Martlets cafe which was also decorated for us. I don’t know how, but everything that you’d need to get married just came together in those two days. All our closest friends and family were there, and it was amazing.
After the wedding, Bekki was stable again for about a week but then there were signs she was getting worse. The staff made sure she had sedatives to keep her calm as she was struggling with her breathing. That was the hardest part for me – those last few days. I didn’t feel like eating or sleeping and I just stayed by her bed, watching her in case she needed me.
Nathan and Bekki got married on 6 November 2025.
Martlets were here for us. Will you be here for them?
Bekki died in November 2025 with me by her side. I’m having counselling at Martlets which is helping me cope, but obviously we miss Bekki hugely and it’s hard for all of us. I’m telling our story so soon after losing Bekki as I know she would’ve wanted me to share it. She would’ve wanted me to speak about the amazing care she got from Martlets, and we got as a family. You never know if it could be you that needs their help – we never knew it would be us. Martlets relies on community fundraising to look after families like ours so please support them any way you can.
Remember a loved one this Valentine’s Day
If you would like to remember someone special this month, we warmly invite you to visit our ‘Forever loved, always remembered’ page. You can share a photo and make a dedication to someone you love and miss.
Published: 06/02/26