Mother’s Day is coming up and for some that can bring a sense of dread. You may have lost your mum or supporting a child through bereavement. Constant reminders of mum everywhere can make it a challenging time.
In preparation for Mother’s Day, Jane our Bereavement and Counselling Services Manager will be sharing some tips to help you through it. In this blog, she has some advice on supporting bereaved mums. You can also read some advice on how to support your child through Mother’s Day here.
Acknowledge their loss
Don’t avoid mentioning their child in front of them or skirt around what happened. Whilst they may not be talking about their child, they will be thinking about them.
Let them know you’re thinking about them and their child
Sharing memories of their child and using their child’s name can be a lovely way to celebrate mother’s day. Even if they have no living children they will always be a parent and a mother and acknowledging this can be helpful.
Don’t Say “Everything Will Be Okay”
Whilst it’s tempting to give this kind of reassurance it can be quite unhelpful and insensitive. Explaining someone’s loss to them instead of listening to their feelings is not a good way to support them. Try to avoid saying things such as “your child’s in a better place,” or “at least you have/will have other children.”
Don’t change who you are with them. If they’ve lost a child then feeling like they’ve lost their friend by you changing your behaviour will only add to their feelings of loneliness and loss.
Offer continued support
Grief is a different path for everyone and whilst things may appear to be okay they may not be. Even if they have refused your offers of support before make sure you do keep offering.
Useful Services and information:
If you or your child are, or have been, supported by our bereavement team you can always get in touch for additional support, no matter how long it’s been. Call 01273 273400 and ask to speak to the patient and family support team.
Cruse Bereavement Service
Cruse offer a bereavement helpline to give support as you need it. In addition, you can also find resources on how to support your child on their website.
Winston’s Wish has a wealth of resources and advice on how to support your child through bereavement. This is whilst also dealing with your own grief. They also have a freephone helpline you can call.
Childhood Bereavement UK
Child Bereavement UK supports families and educates professionals when a baby or child of any age dies or is dying. They also support when a child is facing bereavement.