Summary
Joining our Martlets community has been life-changing for Grace and her family. From art projects and creative writing to singing together in Martlets’ Good Vibrations Choir, she and her daughter Hannah share what community means to them.
Hannah:
“My mum Grace has multiple sclerosis (MS), an incurable autoimmune disease which affects the nervous system. It is hard to live with because it’s a degenerative condition and progressive. Mum was having a hard time dealing with her MS and was quite low; she didn’t feel very confident about meeting other people to socialise. A lovely member of Martlets’ wellbeing team came out to visit us to find out what Mum’s interests were, and to see if any of their social groups appealed.
After she left, I cried when I shut the door because it was just so heartwarming to actually find somewhere that could help us as a family. Places that run social groups aren’t always wheelchair-friendly or understanding about different health conditions. It was just so nice for someone to visit and to say, ‘you can be part of this community’. We lacked that sense of belonging for a long time and felt as a family that we were on our own. But Martlets opened their arms to us, and it was great to feel included and also that our contribution was useful to help them fundraise.”
Grace:
“I was struggling with my MS and feeling quite isolated. I used to drive, but as my MS got worse it became difficult, and I had to give up the car. As soon as I met the wellbeing person from Martlets, she put my mind at rest. She reassured me that the people at the social groups are really lovely, and I’d like them. And she said I could just turn up and see how I got on. So that’s what I did, and they just embraced us, the whole family, very gently. They even helped me with transport arrangements to make sure I could get there easily if my daughters Hannah or Adele weren’t able to drive me. It’s given me more confidence and independence.”
Grace and the Good Vibrations Choir
Community voices – the Good Vibrations Choir
Hannah:
“Adele and I both care for Mum, but we also have health issues of our own so we needed more support. The local MS nurse said she’d heard of someone with MS accessing Martlets’ services, as they see people with other life-limiting conditions, not only cancer patients. We thought that would be amazing and got referred to Martlets in April 2024. We didn’t realise how much support Martlets would give us and how much of a difference it would make. It’s really transformed us – not just Mum, but as a family.
We’ve been going to social events together and we also wanted to give something back to the community and help to fundraise for Martlets – being part of the Choir means we have fun and can help fundraise because we put on concerts to raise money. We even did a Choir fundraiser at Brighton Station! We’re a musical family so it’s lovely to sing together and to feel we’re part of a wider community at Martlets. Lucy, Mum’s assistance dog, has been welcomed into the Choir too and comes along to support her.
The Life Writing group
Grace:
“I’ve really enjoyed the writing group, even though I wasn’t really a writer to begin with – it opens your eyes to talking about so many interesting things. Hannah and my brother Colin also attend with me. Because he’d recently lost his wife, Colin was at a bit of a loss as well. Martlets welcomed him into the community too and it’s given him a massive confidence boost.
My MS means I can’t write easily anymore but three volunteers at the group have helped me. I’ll just go off to a quiet corner with one of them and sit for 20-30 minutes and they’ll write my thoughts down for me. We chat and I’ve made lots of lovely friends. It’s funny, I’ve actually met a few people that live very close to us and we didn’t even know they were right there on our doorstep! So, it’s not only what we do in the group that has a positive impact, it’s the community we’ve got to know and the friends we’ve made closer to home.”
Join the Martlets community
Grace:
“I’d say to anyone thinking of coming along to Martlets’ groups, ‘give it a go’. You’ll make so many friends and there’s no pressure to join in, you can do as much or as little as you want to or your health will allow. Everyone is so friendly and it’s so well organised. With my MS progressing, I don’t know how long I’ll have to be able to do these activities with friends and family so I’m making the most of it. Martlets has helped me connect in so many wonderful ways with my family and with new friends too.
Hannah:
“Sometimes I’ll have a bad day at work and think can I be bothered to go to the ‘Life Writing’ group. But I’ll go along and always leave feeling better. Whatever mood you’re in, they will always take you as you are. One thing that has really stood out for me is that you don’t have to be a particular way or put on a front if you’re feeling low. You can just turn up as you are and you’ll be welcome. At the writing group, it’s a very safe space. You might feel like sharing your feelings through writing or words, or you might just want to sit and listen. Everyone supports each other, which is really lovely. I should also mention there’s plenty of tea and cake which is an added bonus!
When I first got involved with Martlets, it really struck me how positive and full of life everyone is. Obviously, there are people who are very ill and going through a difficult time with their families, but overall it doesn’t feel like a sad or negative place when you go into the hospice, or to the groups. We’re all enjoying each other’s company and everyone’s welcome – it feels like a very kind and inclusive community.”
Seated left to right: Hannah, Adele, Grace and Lucy the dog. Choir at Brighton station
To find out more about our wellbeing groups and social activities please email ann.borg@southernhospicegroup.org.uk
This summer, we’re making memories together. Find out more about Making Memories and discover how you can get involved. We warmly invite you to visit our sunflower memories display at Martlets and to take time to remember a loved one. You can also share special memories on our dedication page.
Will you help other local families like Grace’s? Your donation, small or large, will support our expert teams as they continue to help local families live life to the full during the precious time they have together.
Published 29/07/25