Summary
From art projects and shared creative writing to singing together in our Good Vibrations Choir, Martlets’ wellbeing groups have been life-changing for Grace and her family. Here, Grace’s daughter Hannah explains how taking part has helped them make some special memories together.
“My mum Grace has multiple sclerosis (MS), an incurable autoimmune disease which affects the nervous system. It is hard to live with because it’s a degenerative condition and progressive. Because of Mum’s health, we don’t know how long we’ll be able to do all these wonderful things together at Martlets, so it’s vital to live in the moment and to make some happy memories we can look back on. It’s important to us as a family that we do as much as we can while we can.
Mum was feeling quite lonely at home and we wanted to find some activities she could enjoy and still manage to do despite her MS. A lovely lady from Martlets’ patient and family support team visited us to find out what Mum’s interests were. Since then, we’ve been attending several wellbeing and social groups run by Martlets – the Life Writing Group, Art Group, and the Good Vibrations Choir. It’s really changed our lives – not just for Mum, but for us as a family – as me, my sister Adele, and my uncle, Colin, have been able to go along too. And if I’m working and can’t drive Mum there, Martlets have even arranged for a volunteer driver to pick Mum up. It makes her feel more independent and confident about going which is great.
Hannah, Adele, Grace (seated front) and Lucy
Art projects and Life Writing
My sister Adele goes to the Art group with Mum. They’ve made all sorts of creative bits and pieces including some colourful masks, watercolour paintings and decorated mandala stones. But it’s the Life Writing group that I’ve really enjoyed. What’s been really nice for Mum is that she’s had helpers – volunteers at the group who can write for her because she struggles with writing due to the MS. She knows what she wants to say but struggles with the actual physical writing.
There will often be a choice of topics to write about – it might be treasured memories we have or special places we’ve been. On one occasion, Mum wrote about when she first met my dad which was lovely as she often finds it hard to talk about him since he passed away. That’s been quite therapeutic because she’s been reliving some happy memories of meeting Dad in Sherry’s nightclub in Brighton, and of their honeymoon on the Isle of Wight. A lot of the people at the group know the places in Brighton that Mum used to go – Sherry’s nightclub and Snips for designer clothes. I learned things about Mum that I didn’t know and it was the same when my uncle came along.
It’s wonderful attending as a family because we get each other’s perspectives on things we’ve experienced together. I wrote about the first record (CD) I’d bought – actually it was my uncle who bought it for me and he could remember buying it. But he didn’t realise the impact it had on me and on my taste in music. So it sparked a conversation about records we both loved. It’s nice that there are people of different ages in the group as you hear about key moments in time from the personal perspectives of different people.
I’ve been reading back through what I’ve written at the group and been feeling really proud of it, and of what Mum has written as well. I’m so proud of what Mum’s managed to do despite her challenges with MS. My sister Adele will often ask what I’ve written when I get home from the Life Writing group and it’s great to be able to share something positive rather than talking about illness a lot of the time. It takes you out of yourself and connects you with others in an uplifting way.
Grace – with Lucy wearing a lion’s mane
The Good Vibrations Choir
We love going to Martlets’ Choir with Mum. We sing so many uplifting songs as well as a range of thoughtfully chosen songs by our choir master Aneesa that resonate with the choir and audience emotionally. Our first concert was very special – it was Light up a Life, Martlets’ in-memory event. I’ll always have that memory of us singing together – especially Afterglow by Ed Sheeran which has become a meaningful song for us – and supporting those families who had lost loved ones. Lucy, Mum’s assistance dog, comes along too. Lucy helps Mum take off her jacket, picks things up that Mum’s dropped, and keeps her safe. She is a popular member of the Choir and loved by all. She particularly enjoys wagging her tail along to the Jungle Book songs! My sister and I have been training her to wear a fabric ‘lion’s mane’ for when we sing He Lives in You from the musical The Lion King. When we do our next concert, Lucy will be led to the front wearing her mane. That will be a lovely memory to have. When we hear those songs in the years to come it will remind us of Mum and of singing together.
We’re quite a musical family and so we love being part of the Choir, but you don’t need to have any musical skills to join, just enthusiasm! Martlets has helped us make so many happy memories together and we enjoy being able to give back through the Choir’s fundraising efforts. Along with ticket sales for concerts, we’ve also had donation buckets while we’re singing everywhere from supermarkets to train stations. It’s great fun and we’re helping to fundraise at the same time, and we have some wonderful photos and video clips to remind us in years to come.”
To find out more about the Good Vibrations Choir and our wellbeing groups please email ann.borg@southernhospicegroup.org.uk
This summer, we’re making memories together. Find out more about Making Memories and discover how you can get involved. We warmly invite you to visit our sunflower memories display at Martlets and to take time to remember a loved one. You can also share special memories on our dedication page.
Will you help other local families like Grace’s? Your donation, small or large, will support our expert teams as they continue to help local families live life to the full during the precious time they have together.
Published 07/07/25