1. Create a memory jar or memory box
A simple yet powerful way to remember someone is by collecting memories of the good times you’ve spent together. Chat with them about their recollections and yours – write these memories down on pieces of paper, fold them up and place them in the jar or box. They could also include a favourite recipe or quote, or a piece of advice or message for the future. Spraying their favourite scent onto something special they have written can also be a meaningful keepsake. You could also ask friends and family to write down their favourite stories, comments, or memories of your loved one and add those too. Over time, this becomes a way to revisit joyful moments and perhaps even learn new things about them. You can open it on special anniversaries or whenever you feel the need to reconnect.
credit: Margarita Kochneva, Pixabay
2. Record their stories and ask them ‘what matters most?’
Sit with them and ask about their life – what matters most to them and what they’ve learnt along the way. What are they most proud of? What advice would they give to others? What do they want to be remembered for? What were the happiest moments of their life? They might also want to record special messages for family members. You can write these insights down or record audio or video (if they’re comfortable with that). Or you might want to use photos, notes, drawings, or little mementos to build a scrapbook.
3. Begin a project together which you will continue in their memory
Is your loved one passionate about a cause? Do they have a dream that went unfulfilled? Carrying on their work or creating something in their name can feel deeply meaningful and they can contribute with ideas and insights. This might mean starting a scholarship or award, a community project, or something else in their memory. Perhaps it’s as simple as getting a bench or a plaque made to put in one of their favourite places – for family or the wider community to sit and reflect.
4. Have a ‘favourite food’ picnic
Even if it’s in bed at home or a hospice room, bring in their favourite snacks or meals (health permitting – check with their medical team first). Share stories and memories around each dish. It’s a comforting and sensory way to connect.
5. Watch or listen to their favourite media
Revisit their favourite films, TV shows and songs. These shared experiences can spark conversation, and in the years ahead will help you reconnect with your loved one when you think about them. You might also want to read to them from their favourite books.
6. Do gentle activities together
Puzzles, knitting, meditation, or simply sitting in nature can be calming. Crafts such as handprint or fingerprint art are simple ways to preserve a physical memory, or you might want to start a bigger project such as making a patchwork quilt together.
7. Pets can help make memories too
The presence of a familiar pet can bring peace and comfort and most hospices allow well-behaved pets to visit. Encourage your loved one to share stories about the pet’s quirks, funny memories, or how the pet made them feel loved and take photos to look back on later. You might also want to reassure your loved one that their pet will be well-cared for after they have died.
8. Celebrate a ‘living memorial’
Who says a memorial must wait until after someone is gone? If your loved one is able, consider organising a celebration of life while they’re still here. Invite friends and family (in person or online) to share stories, laugh, cry, and say what they love most about that special someone. This experience can be deeply affirming and healing for all. Make this an uplifting and joyful event that celebrates your loved one’s life whilst they are still able to participate – just make sure they approve the guest list!
9. The gift of stillness and presence
Being fully present with your loved one is powerful. Often, we are easily distracted by our phones and devices, and our busy lives. Making memories doesn’t always have to be about deep conversations – just being there, holding their hand, and giving them your full attention can be enough. Simple acts like brushing their hair, applying lotion to their hands, or giving a foot rub can reassure them they are loved and not alone. Sometimes the most profound moments happen in silence.
10. Say what needs to be said
Use this time to express love, forgiveness, or gratitude. Even difficult conversations, when handled gently, can bring healing and connection. If you need advice or support on how to approach this, ask the medical team responsible for your loved one’s care.
Making special memories with a loved one isn’t about doing everything perfectly. It’s about showing up with love, compassion and positive intentions. Even if your loved one is tired, ill and unable to engage much, your willingness to be there with them at this challenging time means everything. Your voice, your touch and your presence mean more than you may ever realise, and the memories you’ve made will be a lasting reminder of your lives together.
This summer, we’re making memories together. Find out more about Making Memories and discover how you can get involved. We warmly invite you to visit our sunflower memories display at Martlets and to take time to remember a loved one. You can also share special memories on our in-memory page.
Will you help other local families like Charlie’s? Your donation, small or large, will support our expert teams as they continue to help local families live life to the full during the precious time they have together.
Published 12/06/2025