Summary
Jaheda, a healthcare assistant working on our inpatient wards, explains how her pilgrimage to Mecca has given her a new perspective on her care work.
“My husband and I went on an amazing journey together to Saudi Arabia to complete our first Umrah Haj (pilgrimage). We started off at Makkah (also known an Mecca), then we went to the Kabbah (this is the house where our beloved prophet Muhammad was born). I attended teachings on all faiths including the prophets Noah, Ibrahim, Moses, and Jesus, and the Prophet Muhammad.
A lot of this was new to me, as previously I didn’t follow the religion so strictly and wasn’t wearing a hijab. Finally, after connecting more deeply with Islam, I felt I was ready to make the commitment to go. The pilgrimage helped prepare us for Ramadan, a festival observed by Muslims worldwide as a month of fasting (sawm), prayer (salah), reflection, and community.
One of the most important messages of the pilgrimage was that in Islam we are all spiritually equal. No matter what their status in life was, or how rich or poor or famous people were, everyone was seen as equal in front of the Kabbah. Thousands of people walked around the Kabbah seven times at the same speed. The Kabbah itself was absolutely mesmerising. It was much larger than expected. Then we walked the Safa Marwa (mile long) seven times. It felt very powerful and freeing and was a humbling and beautiful experience that has given me a fresh approach to how I live and work.
I feel calmer since returning from the pilgrimage, and small things that might have annoyed me before don’t seem as important. The experience has helped me to be fully present to what really matters to me, and to the patients I’m looking after.
Terminal illness can affect anyone no matter what race, religion or social standing they have. Understanding that we are all spiritually equal means that every person deserves the same care and compassion.
One of our patients who was Hindu once asked if I could read to her from the Bhagavad Gita, the holy book of Hinduism. That’s not my religion, but I was able to read it for her as I speak several languages, even though it wasn’t written in my mother tongue. I didn’t want to offend her by getting the chanting wrong as there is a certain way to say it out loud, but she said it didn’t matter to her that I was from a different faith and couldn’t speak it perfectly; she just wanted to feel the words and the deeper meaning. I have also read from the Bible to patients when they have requested it.
I’ve also looked after a patient who was from Israel. Even though she was Jewish and I am Muslim we got on really well. She saw me as an individual, a person caring for her, not as someone from an opposing faith. Her husband and I got on brilliantly because we’re both Arsenal supporters!
I think people probably thought ‘uh oh’, as given the tensions in the Middle East you might not have expected us to get along. But we got on so well that she even wanted to gift me her husband’s Arsenal memorabilia books that he’d brought in! It’s a safeguarding policy at Martlets that we don’t accept gifts from patients and families, unless it’s small things like sweets. Her husband was awesome and we read the books together when he visited and had some great football chats.
Since I’ve been wearing a hijab, I’ve generally had a positive reaction from staff, patients, and their families. Before I went on the pilgrimage, you wouldn’t have known that I was a practising Muslim, but since then my colleagues have been quite intrigued with my change of dress. I was a bit wary in case some people felt uncomfortable, because sadly there are still people out there who associate Muslims with acts of terrorism. It’s important to understand that Islam is a peaceful faith; it is extremists who have associated Islam with violence.
My decision to go on the pilgrimage and to wear the hijab has felt important and connected me more deeply with the values of my faith. And that has made me more compassionate and understanding of the people I work with and care for.”
Find out more about how to talk about death and dying
Hospice UK – our national charity that campaigns for hospice care for all who need it – provides a range of resources to help us all keep opening up the conversation about death and dying. It runs a year-round campaign called Dying Matters which includes uplifting stories, resources and more. Every May, Dying Matters Week promotes the need for open conversation around death and dying as well as special events around the UK.
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Originally published 08/04/2024 republished 09/05/2025